The Roots of Behavior
My son started chewing on his shirt. My instinct was to tell him to stop. My OT brain told me to dig a little into it, to become a detective. I gave him some gum to chew in the meantime.
There’s always a reason for behavior.
I can usually break behavior down into one of these four reasons:
1.Escape
2.Tangible
3.Attention/Connection
4.Sensory
Escape
When a task is too hard, or not motivating for a child (or adult) they try to get out of the activity.
“I have to go to the bathroom”
“I need a drink of water”
or we see misbehavior (crying, meltdown, yelling, head on desk…) This is to escape the undesired or challenging activity.
Tangible
This is the child at the grocery store check out who wants the candy and is told NO! or the child who wants screen time and is told no, or told that they need to put it away. They want something and can’t have it.
Its difficult for a child to hear No. Does that mean Never, not now?? If I cry will it mean yes?
I need help to understand when I can have this tangible item. A visual or token chart can help.
Attention/Connection
Dr. Jody Carrington talks about the need for attention/connection. There are no bad kids. Kids want connection. When your child “misbehaves” because you are giving your attention to someone/something else (hello iphone), your child may act out to try to get your attention.
Sensory
For me it always comes back to sensory. Sensory is behavior/Behavior is sensory. I say this because, when a child (or adult) is overwhelmed by their environment, requests being made, the fuzzies in their socks, etc it impacts their ability to function and behave. When a child is regulated, it’s easier to behave/meet expectations. Check out What is Sensory Processing Big cup, little cup.
I’m still trying to figure out why my son is chewing on his shirt. It may be that he likes the sensory input, or a bit of overwhelm. He says it helps him get his work done so we will continue to use gum as a sensory input for now.
What’s Next
If you are a parent who wants to learn and understand your child’s behaviors, feel supported and connected, I would love for you to join the next round of Roots of Behavior. Join the Waitlist.
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